Tag: superpowers

Terrible Superpowers

Terrible Superpowers

by fnmanning ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

 

magic

That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

Why? In honor of my novel The Frost or The Bite where the main character must choose between ice and earth magic. We’re deciding which element is better for ourselves. 

 In case you forgot, here’s the score after round one:

Ice: 0 Earth: 1

When comparing the elements, a natural step is to wonder which one is stronger. 

I did briefly approach this as if it were a real topic of research and try to answer this question intellectually. I found an encyclopedia to look up powers and everything.  (I should never approach things intellectually. Never goes well.)

My research went off course pretty fast. I found myself just clicking on the fun sounding ones instead. Which brings us to the next category in this contest.

Not which is stronger but which has the better most useless power. I tried to find two of the most nonsense powers, one in earth, one in ice, and let’s look at which has the most ridiculous one. (I had fun with this and I hope you do too, but if not, we’re looking at who has the hottest characters next time.)

Ice’s Most Useless Power: Ice Cream Mimicry

icecream

Ice cream mimicry is defined as ‘transforming into or having a physical body made of ice cream.’ The power is mostly used by characters who look like or are ice cream cones, like a character on the Amazing World of Gumball  or certain Pokemon like Vanillish.

(There are over a dozen characters with this power, but those are the two examples I was even remotely familiar with.)

 My favorite way to think of this power is by someone pretending to be ice cream. Why? No clue! Maybe they want to know what it’s like to be a bowl of rocky road. Or maybe when trying to hide from a lactose intolerant person and so being ice cream makes you safe from them.

There’s just something so sweet and innocent about pretending to be ice cream. No pun intended. It’s useless in a fight but undeniably awesome, in a useless way. 

And this is less sweet, but I found it hilarious that under limitations in the encyclopedia it says ‘user may simply be eaten.’ 

 

Earth’s Most Useless Power: Earth Swimming

guyOkay, I picked powers that sound ridiculous, but earth swimming is actually pretty useful.  It gives the user the ability to swim through the ground and earth like it was water. Since the real world isn’t Minecraft, going deep into the ground just by doing the backstroke must be pretty useful.   

So earth swimming has uses, except in the way I’m imagining it. Earth swimming makes me think of somebody swimming in a big pile of dirt, which someone with this ability could also do. 

I’m picturing a person being like, “I’m not going to the pool today. I’m just gonna do laps around the sandbox in the backyard.” And the power to swim in a sandbox is undeniably lame. 

The only known user I was vaguely familiar with from the list is a white defender like this from Hollow Knight.

The Winner

dessert

Calling it earth swimming makes it sound lame and silly as hell. More useful, yes, but come on, ice cream mimicry! Gotta give the win to ice cream mimicry. 

This brings the total for our ice vs. earth competition to… a tie!

Ice: 1 Earth: 1

Next time, we’ll get into the real stuff. Like who has the hotter men. No, sexier. Because ice characters aren’t hot because they’re cold. 

Since this is an M/M romance blog, all characters will be of the M variety. 

Superpowers and the Powerpuff Girls (hey, those topics are related!)

Superpowers and the Powerpuff Girls (hey, those topics are related!)

by fnmanning ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I would never repeat myself, but it’s possible I’ve said this next bit before. But I’m going to say it again anyway, even though it’s not entirely new, and you’ve perhaps heard this already. I hate repetition and also being subtle, apparently. Yes, I repeated myself intentionally in this paragraph to be hilarious. I will give you a second to laugh and collect yourself after my wit nearly knocked you over.

While I was about to say something else, I’m now off topic. Because I thought of Mojo Jojo, who always repeats an idea in new ways, and I’m going to put a picture here. Why? Evil monkey! That’s the best answer to any question ever. And in general, an evil monkey is a great idea. I know someone whose nickname is JoJo, and sometimes they like sharing their name with a cartoon monkey supervillain, and sometimes they get angry at being called ‘Mojo Jojo.’

mojojojo
When trying to type ‘Google’ after ‘Mojo Jojo, I typed ‘gogo.’ Pic from Pinterest.

Back to what I was originally going to say, the deleted scene I’m going to post talks about superhuman abilities. I’m almost positive I put my superpowers in the back of one of my books, but I’m not sure which one. I don’t think it’s in all of my books, so this might be new information if you haven’t read that one book this is also from, or if you skip the author section at the end of novels.

After accidentally building this up, my superpowers will be anticlimactic. Oops! I never trip over untied shoelaces, and I can lose anything in the most annoying way possible. Is my debit card still missing after I misplaced it a few weeks ago? No way! Ahem, those are my superpowers. And now for a character from One Little Lie talking about some stuff I also talked about.

P.S. Luke from this series is Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. Ryan is Buttercup. I’m proud of myself for getting those names right as at first they were respectively ‘the one in blue’ and the ‘the one in green.’

~

My name is Luke Chambers and I’m a superhero. Once upon a time, I thought I was an ordinary guy. Sure, I was good looking and athletically gifted but that was genetics and practice. Now, I had a strange gift I hadn’t asked for.

That’s the only thing that makes sense. Only I could keep taking awkward, potentially bad situations and making them infinitely more complicated. I used to be suave, so my ability to mess things up had to be supernatural. It was a superpower. I was Bad Idea Man. Okay, that’s not the best name for a superhero, but like I said, I’m not so good with bright ideas.

My parents thought I was dating a girl, and I hadn’t corrected them yet, so it was time for the Luke’s an Idiot Explanation Tour. I’d done this tour before. Who did I want to face first: Ryan or Lydia? Lydia would be brutal, but maybe she’d give me some advice about how to fix this or how to tell Ryan in a way that didn’t get me in trouble. I couldn’t think of one, but as she liked to tell me, I was dumb.

Plus, getting through this conversation with Lydia meant I could see Ryan next, like a reward.

I thought about telling the truth to my parents last night. In fact, that was all I had done. I laid on my bed and worried about it, which was surprisingly exhausting as I fell asleep early and still didn’t feel rested when I woke up. Maybe if this conversation somehow went well and was over quickly, I could take a nap. I had a game later today.

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