To celebrate the upcoming release of my new M/M paranormal romance The Werewolf’s Heart on May 9, here’s a quote from the novel.
This assignment was full of challenges. Like me going undercover as a suburban homeowner, posing as an ‘average’ lone werewolf among humans. My interests included grisly murders, supernatural victims or suspects, and bringing killers to justice.
Now? I needed to blend in. Live a normal life. Whatever the hell that meant.
It sounded kinda like torture. Then I met him.
Here are the first two chapters from my new M/M paranormal romance, The Werewolf’s Heart. The full book comes out on May 9th!
Can a werewolf protect the man who holds his heart without giving into forbidden desire?
Aaron Honeywell can’t wait to renovate his new house and transform it into his oasis, but his home isn’t the only thing in disrepair. His lackluster and stalled love life could use a little attention. And just when he hits it off with his devastatingly sexy neighbor, a fox shifter attacks and reveals the hidden supernatural dangers lurking outside their cozy street.
Going undercover in the suburbs sounds like the assignment from hell for supernatural detective Merritt Slate. Then he meets his cute neighbor and suddenly his all work and no play lifestyle seems lacking. But the dangerous forces capable of kidnapping werewolves certainly aren’t playing, and he won’t let an innocent person get caught in the crossfire. Protecting Aaron is more important than his feelings, no matter what his wolf thinks.
As the human and his protector grow closer, they start to realize the same thing. A house is only as valuable as the people in it. But when the case hits too close to home and threatens everything, will Aaron and Merritt be strong enough to stand up to those determined to tear them apart?
~
Aaron
WHAT MAKES A HOUSE a home?
I was about to find out as the newest resident and homeowner on Crescent Street in the growing city of Ashvale, North Carolina. The deed listed Aaron Honeywell, yours truly, as the owner of a two-story ranch style property.
Honeywell, I’m home.
The trunk of my Honda Civic slammed closed with a satisfying clunk as I balanced the last box on one hip. I surveyed the suburban middle-class homes in shades of faded wheat and ecru—also known as beige and white—with well-mowed lawns and identical mailboxes by the driveways. My house might be a tad smaller than the rest, but it was still mine.
This moment? A big damn deal. I soaked in all the glory as the pleasant afternoon sun washed across my arms and I gazed upon my new territory, every blade of grass and modest square inch.
Moving in felt pretty good.
But catching the eye of my sexy new neighbor? That felt even better.
His dark sable hair—so gorgeous it deserved the pretentious home designer name for brown—moved with the breeze, a strand falling over his face and ratcheting his sexiness up another few impossible degrees. Mr. So-Hot-It-Defies-All-Logic, we hadn’t been formally introduced, wore a sweater the color of sculptor’s clay (grey), perfect for a stroll around the neighborhood on a mild spring day.
I was half tempted to drop my box on the driveway and see if he’d be interested in starting a neighborhood fitness group that I’d never attend solely for the opportunity to chat with him. He nodded to me and I waved—oops, this box definitely required both hands. I started tipping forward with the weight and hastily saved it and myself from wiping out, hopefully without looking too silly.
Any potential humiliation was forgotten when I walked towards the front door and felt his eyes taking a gander at my ass. Somebody sure was and I doubted elderly Mr. Martin next door was the culprit.
Sexy neighbor guy was still way out of my league, but I was theoretically a respectable catch. I had a stable job, my own house at 27, and cooked a mean lobster ravioli. Sure, my culinary skills max out at five meals, but I cooked those five recipes well. And I wasn’t hideous either. Petite in both stature and figure, I had wavy auburn hair and a thin frame with a round face and light hazel eyes.
A sea full of possibilities and other ‘P’ words greeted me inside when looking around the living room of my new kingdom. Along with lots of boxes. Ugh, time to unpack.
The doorbell saved me.
Did the hot guy stop over to say hello?
No, another neighbor greeted me. A young woman with long midnight (black) hair, my first visitor! She told me her name was Kara and proudly thrust her gifted bottle of wine into my arms.
“It’s perfect, how did you know?” I asked with a mischievous grin.
“One look at you and I saw weeknights bingeing trashy vampire dramas and sipping red wine were in our future.”
“Sounds fantastic,” I laughed.
“Great, because I frequently need to escape my place…” She winced. “No matter how many times I remind myself that staying at home through college saves money, it’s still…”
“Living with your parents?”
“Bingo.”
While I left my mother’s house as soon as I turned 18, I still remembered the days of nightmare roommates and happily offered her sanctuary. “Feel free to drink and binge watch in my home anytime, as long as you accept that this house loves Damon and Stefan Salvatore equally.”
“Yes. Stefan has the hero hair, but Damon is just so annoyingly sexy.”
I smiled. “We’re gonna get along just fine.”
When sticking the wine in the fridge, I considered buying a wine rack. I enjoyed a good rosé after a long day at work managing a customer service center for a high-end electronics brand. My kitchen décor was nonexistent, so I should fix that too. A woeful amount of shopping was still needed to really finish decorating the interior since I only lived in apartments before.
Even when living in a few houses with Mom during my childhood none of them felt like a home, all lacking that special ingredient to make them comfortable and warm.
Owning my own place was so exciting because this was my first real home ever. Or it would be one day, but there was one thing missing.
My romantic prospects left a gaping hole in my otherwise promising future. What would really make my new house feel like a home was the right man to share it with.
~
Aaron
One ‘P’ word kept rattling around in my head. No, not penis. Yes, I needed a man, but… potential. That was the ‘P’ word, potential. My home was a flat, square property with two small stories, a grey roof, and dingy cream paint in the back, but potential meant that the funky smell in the attic and peeling linoleum in the downstairs bathroom weren’t problems. My fixer upper was full of exciting projects.
So even after a long night of unpacking, I was in remarkably high spirits the next day.
“Oh, hello,” I said as I opened the front door.
Another new friend arrived. Not a neighbor though. A bird.
The bird released a soft chirp, and I halted in the doorframe to avoid stepping on it. I waited for it to shoo, but it stayed parked there where a welcome mat should be on the square slab of raised concrete that passed for my front porch.
“Shoo?” I tried. The bird refused my request.
Note to self: add welcome mat and flowers for porch to shopping list.
The small brown creature had a pointed beak that almost dared me to challenge him when he puffed up his feathers and stared me down. A sparrow maybe? Something common and usually unintrusive. His tiny beady eyes were focused and slightly unnerving.
“Can I help you with something?” I demanded, refusing to be unnerved by the tiny winged menace.
“Just saying hi.” Holy deep voice, Batman.
Yes, the caped crusader had a deep baritone, but this guy could give him competition. The sexy voice was, naturally, attached to the sexy neighbor, who had walked up the path to my door.
His shadow fell over the bird, whose wings flapped once in protest before he flew away, leaving me alone on my front porch with… oh my god, he’s even hotter up close.
The man’s dark hair looked naturally tousled, though his beard was carefully trimmed and maintained. He was so tall with a square jaw, strong build, and lightly sun-kissed skin. And his whiskey-colored eyes were positively striking.
“Is this a bad time?” He stepped back like he’d leave.
“Stay!” I half yelled. Oops. Did I already ruin the fleeting hope the sexiest neighbor I’ve ever had will look at me twice? “Sorry, I wasn’t talking to you before.”
He looked around, confirming we were the only ones standing on my front porch.
“There was… a bird.” My face flushed. Yeah, I definitely blew it already. There went the opportunity to blow other more fun things. “He was watching me.”
The man’s left eyebrow rose. Just the left and not the right. Impressive. I’d never been able to do that. “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?”
“Huh?”
“Birdwatching.”
“Well, I was watching him too.” Stop saying stupid shit! “We were having a staring contest?”
Oh look, it got even stupider.
“Hey, whatever you do in your free time is your own business.” An almost smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, so the gentle teasing didn’t offend me. Only I offended me for acting ridiculous in the first place.
“I do totally normal things in my free time,” I promised. Normal people probably didn’t feel the need to specify that they were normal.
Making the executive decision to gloss over all my weird behavior, I pasted a bright smile on my face and extended a hand. “I’m Aaron Honeywell.”
“Hey. Merritt Jones.”
We shook hands. His grip, just like the rest of him, was firm and strong.
“Nice to meet you,” I said. “I promise I’m not a crazy person.” Another one of those things you shouldn’t have to spell out.
He smiled kindly. “I don’t think you are.”
“Really?” That made one of us. “I wouldn’t judge you if you did.”
“You’re cute.” His eyes widened like he didn’t realize he was going to say that, but I was very happy he did. “Uh, I figured you might need a break from unpacking. I remember how hectic moving is.”
“Oh, are you new to the neighborhood too?” I asked and he nodded.
Sweet, another thing we had in common. Along with living on this street, (probably) being not-straight, and (in my dreams) being into each other.
“What brings you to North Carolina?” I asked, deciding he wasn’t a native because he lacked even a slight Southern drawl. “I’m not from the South either originally, but I went to college in Durham and fell in love with the area.”
“Actually, I’m from Louisiana, but I’ve moved around so much that the accent only comes out after a few drinks.” I wanted to hear that. “My work brought me to Raleigh first, then here.”
“How’s the job going?” I asked to be polite and because I likely had an interest in everything he did. Even eating cereal or clipping his toenails.
“It keeps me busy,” he answered neutrally, though his gaze seemed loaded for some reason. “But my work isn’t very interesting.”
“Really?” My eyes trailed down the kind of incredible physique that typically belonged to movie stars and professional athletes. “Your job must be engaging enough since you look so—” I coughed to avoid gushing about his fine as hell body and embarrassing myself further. “…in shape.”
“There are lots of ways to stay in shape.” A stray shaft of sunlight fell over my face and half blinded me, but I thought I saw a spark of amusement in his eyes as he continued. “For all you know I sit behind a desk all day and hit the gym at night.”
“No way.” I sized him up with over-exaggerated obviousness, squinting and tilting my head as the picture came together. “You’d be bored staring at a computer screen all day. My guess is you work outdoors or with your hands, but your job must have excitement too. You love action.”
“Alright, fine.” He shot me a quick grin that would have made my heart stop if it lasted any longer. “Lucky guess.”
“My first impressions of people are usually correct.” I had to look away, towards a teenager mowing grass two lawns over, as it hit me how forward you love action sounded.
“Well, I don’t know much about reading people.” His keen attention felt palpable, and I wondered whether that was true. “But observing others is probably easier without distractions.” He leaned back, raising his arms in a casual stretch, and my view wavered for a split second before giving up on watching his powerful arms, and instead zeroing in on the skin revealed at his navel from his shirt riding up… uh, what?
When I registered his words, I flushed and found myself unable to look directly at his knowing smirk.
This guessing game suddenly became too real. Some light flirting was definitely going on, but sizing him up hadn’t actually revealed much as my new neighbor was hard to read. Was he just being friendly or really interested? Truthfully, my skills at reading people were better with second impressions, but ‘second impressions’ wasn’t a real expression.
“Y-yeah, I’m distracted.” I cast my eyes about the street and landed on a neighbor’s lawn. “Mrs. Gregory’s begonias are just so colorful,” I rambled. “Aren’t they nice? Especially since she hasn’t grown them before.”
“You just moved here and you’ve already chatted with your neighbors and remember their names?” Okay, her ten-minute spiel about her garden wasn’t exactly fascinating since I knew nothing about flowers, but she was so sweet and—”That’s impressive. In my head she’s the lady with the ugly robe and yappy dog.”
“So does that mean you don’t welcome all your new neighbors to the block?” That meant I was special.
He stilled for a moment, then chuckled under his breath. “Hey, I’m just being neighborly. And I’ve tried all the nearby take-out restaurants if you need recommendations.”
“Are there any good Thai places nearby?”
Merritt provided a few options, then added, “It’s not Thai, but Joseph’s on 5th Street is the best restaurant hands down. Great Italian food and they even have an outdoor patio so you could enjoy dinner and a show.”
“Huh?”
He smirked. “Watching the birds while you eat.”
Oh, for the love of– “I don’t always watch birds!”
“Either way, the atmosphere really adds to the experience. Better to dine in there instead of ordering takeout.”
“Um, are you asking me out?” I blurted out because that sorta sounded like an invitation.
He looked surprised, seemingly reviewing everything he just said internally to see where my wires got crossed. Oh god. Innocent flirting and actual attraction were two different things, and I totally messed up and confused the two.
“Nope, you were just giving me suggestions,” I realized. “One new homeowner to another, right. I gotta get going.” I quickly backed up—
“You’re already home.”
—not quickly enough.
“Yes, I’m home and there’s so much, uh…” I trailed off, gesturing vaguely behind me.
“Unpacking,” he supplied.
“Yep, gotta do that!” And get inside and die in peace.
“Hey, it’s alright.” His smile, though a tad amused, mostly seemed kind. “For the record, you’ll know when I ask you out.” Time slowed, my gaze zeroing in on his eyes and the promise in them. “I have a feeling you’ll find out soon enough.”
Whoa, from attraction to embarrassment and a whole roller coaster of emotions, I struggled to process where we landed. Then a brilliant smile lit my face, one I couldn’t hide or wipe away as it hit me: Merritt was attracted to me too.
We said our goodbyes, and I floated along in a daze for the rest of the day. About half the stuff I unpacked might have been put in the wrong place. Oh well.
Everything was lining up just right. My world was full of potential, and things were off to a promising start with my sexy neighb—Merritt. Plus, some shelving for the bedroom arrived. First delivery to my new home! I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
Merritt
AROUSAL FILLED THE DAMN BLOCK whenever the new neighbor saw me.
Humans unknowingly clouding the air with pungent feelings typically irritated me, and every tiny feeling pours off Aaron in waves, creating some of the strongest scents ever broadcasted in my direction… somehow his aroma doesn’t bother my wolf. All arousal carries a spicy tang, yet his was layered with sweet undernotes like cookies hot from the oven. I wondered what his regular scent smelled like and if it was as enticing.
The lust lingered persistently in my nose even when traveling over a mile to where Tom Parker and Jenny French live. Lived. Before they disappeared a month ago without a goodbye or forwarding address.
“House is clean,” I reported to Agent Frost over the phone. Shiny hardwood floors and lemon scented cleaner surrounded me, the place otherwise empty.
“Figures.” His voice sounded neutral, though I heard the repetitive clicking of a ballpoint pen and knew he felt the same frustration as me.
A few investigators were sent earlier and found nothing interesting, but I still had to check the place out for myself. An average suburban neighborhood rested outside the living room window. Compact cars, pine trees, and not enough hidden vantage points for safely watching two wolves. Nothing strange stood out.
“Tom and Jenny were leasing this place for another four months.” I ran down the list of what we knew. “When they stopped paying rent on the first, the landlord checked in and they were gone.”
“Right.” Frost continued, “They left the majority of their things but took a car and enough essential items to make the police doubt foul play. Credit cards showed charges heading north for rooms at cheap motels without surveillance. They appear to be a young couple that decided to head for greener pastures on a whim. Nothing directly points to them being missing.”
“Not from a human perspective.”
We knew a few things the humans didn’t.
Tom and Jenny weren’t just a nice young couple but a nice young couple of werewolves. Both lived away from pack land but were in good standing with their respective packs. Wolves rarely cut and ran. It looked bad on them and their families to desert the pack, not to mention the emotional toll of abandoning loved ones and an alpha.
Wolves didn’t flee, not without a damn good reason. Or because they weren’t given a choice.
“My case is almost over,” Frost said. “Should I head up faster and—”
“—Help with my dead end?” I filled in, holding back a laugh. “Not necessary.”
“Right…”
The investigation started so late that we were already at a huge disadvantage. Between garnering no attention through human channels and the closest supernatural law enforcement branch being over three hours away, the case was already on the verge of going cold when we received it.
Tom and Jenny attracted attention partly because they were wolves number five and six to disappear from a four-county area in the past six months. All just vanished. Aside from living away from pack lands, the only other commonality between all the missing persons was their ability to sprout fur and claws.
“A second set of eyes may reveal more details,” Frost volunteered.
“Paperwork that bad?” I guessed.
“I’ve faced rampaging minotaurs the size of small buildings and three-headed hydras from dark dimensions. I fear nothing… and I have nightmares about this paperwork.”
“Sorry I can’t help you.” I needed some help myself.
This assignment was full of challenges. Like me going undercover as a suburban homeowner, posing as an ‘average’ lone werewolf among humans. I had little in common with average people. My interests included grisly murders, supernatural victims or suspects, and bringing killers to justice.
Now? I needed to blend in. Live a normal life. Whatever the hell that meant.
Ugh, I was looking at days, maybe weeks or more, full of… Being friendly. Polite chitchat at mailboxes. Socializing. Maybe going on a few dates. What regular people did. Even when they were werewolves, according to my annoying younger siblings.
It all sounded kinda like torture. Then I met him.
Aaron Honeywell—seriously with that last name?—was tempting. Too tempting, unlike the seven middle age divorced women who saw me walking and asked about starting a neighborhood fitness club. Aaron, however, he flustered so… adorably. His round cheeks flushed all rosy and warm as he bit his lip and sneaked glances at me under his eyelashes.
Me and my wolf were typically the epitome of ‘dog with a bone’ once we were on the hunt. Yet my wolf was eager to take a break and learn more about the interesting human who smelled like warm sugar when excited.
Maybe my family was right about me needing a vacation after all.
I had some time to kill anyway. We weren’t expecting action on the case anytime soon. The goal now involved blending in and recon. At least I wouldn’t be bored waiting for the case to heat up.
Maybe this assignment wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Famous last words.
-Check out the book here and order your copy now!
A laser-focused detective is hot on the trail of whoever snatched missing werewolves when he meets a sweet, optimistic young man who suddenly makes him question his all work and no play lifestyle in The Werewolf’s Heart. To celebrate the upcoming release of my new M/M paranormal romance on May 9, here’s a quote from the novel.
Wolves rarely cut and ran. It looked bad on them and their families to abandon the pack. Not to mention the emotional toll of leaving loved ones and their alpha without so much as a goodbye.
Wolves didn’t flee, not without a damn good reason. Or because they weren’t given a choice.
Hello, I wish to talk about my Kindle Vella novel, Invisi-bi-lity, but I’m not sure what to say. I had one image quote and post to make without having a plan for the content. This is always a dangerous situation, so let’s start with the easy stuff.
Description: John Hyde often feels overlooked. Even his best friend Cody doesn’t truly see him or that his feelings have changed from friendly to romantic. So he’s wondered before if anyone would notice if he disappeared, but he never thought he’d find out until he literally turns invisible. Is this the world’s worst superpower, a hex from a vengeful witch, or has bisexual erasure taken on new meaning? Whatever’s going on, if John can’t make himself seen soon he’ll vanish forever.
Hooray, I have now thought of either a terrible or perfect segue for the scene I’m sharing: in my novel, Cody and John go together like five ‘i’s in ‘invisibility.’ It’s vital! Yes, I admit this metaphor isn’t very catchy. (If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, check out this post about my titling woes for Invisi-bi-lity.)
In this scene, Cody tells John about his vitalness to Cody’s life. John is freaking out because he’s invisible for some reason?
~
I’d give anything to throw open the door and reassure Cody, but what will he find waiting on the other side? I’m afraid to look in the mirror again. There’s no way I’m invisible and yet… Whatever’s happening, I’m starting to believe the impossible. It’s terrifying.
“What’s going on?” Cody asks quietly.
“Do you ever feel like you don’t exist? Do you worry nobody would notice if you were gone?”
“I’d notice,” he answers fiercely and immediately. “I would notice and I’m so glad you’re here. Don’t ever think of going anywhere.”
“I won’t,” I prom—say, because unfortunately, that might not be a promise I can keep right now.
“Besides,” Cody says. “How can I be myself without you in my life?”
Rising up with shaky legs, my head peeks over the bathroom counter—oh thank god. There I am.
After opening the door, I’m not sure who moves into who, but we wrap our arms around each other and don’t move for a long time. Things seem normal again. Normal enough. Feeling his burgundy wool sweater between my fingers makes me hold on tighter. In Cody’s arms, everything will be okay.
-Read more here!
About: A witch in a small town runs a psychic parlor. He wants to stay under the radar, which means he shouldn’t fall for the sexy investigator who seems intent on getting his help or seducing him. Hint: it’s both. There may also be zombies.
(Fun fact: ‘psychic’ is a world I’m physically incapable of spelling right. Along with ‘physics.’ I think the two words existing in the same language is what trips me up. I always get confused about what order the ‘y’ and ‘s’ go in and all hell breaks loose when adding the ‘h’ in there somewhere.)
Witchin’ Warlock is a fun, fast read with a little heat. The trouble with shorts like this is if it’s halfway decent, people want more. And I thought it was really cute and interesting. So I would have loved spending more time in this world, and it feels very fast paced because it’s over before you know it.
If you like M/M paranormal romance and novellas, there’s no reason you won’t love this one. Otherwise I’d call it worth checking out for anyone who has Kindle Unlimited. Though it is only .99 cents if you want to buy.
A year ago, Caspian moved to a small town in Ohio. He hoped the lack of competition in the area would be good for his psychic business, Futures Untold. The last thing he expected was a sexy F.B.I. agent to show up and treat him like a missing person’s bloodhound. Even though Caspian keeps doing favors for Special Agent Brock Wray, his distrust of authority runs deep. After all, they used to drown witches in this area back in the day, and Caspian has no desire to end up on Brock’s missing persons’ list.
Officially, no one knows how Brock keeps solving so many huge cases. Caspian is Brock’s secret weapon. The man knows things no one should. That’s not why Brock keeps showing up and making excuses to see Caspian. Caspian fascinates Brock. Not only does Brock’s inner detective need to know how Caspian knows so much, but Caspian is also smoking hot. He is the single most gorgeous man to step foot in their tiny town in ages. Brock isn’t dumb. He has to take Caspian off the market as quickly as possible and he’ll use any excuse to get close enough to do it.
When Brock takes Caspian along for the ride on a case, things will get weird. Let’s hope Caspian isn’t forced to show why he’s the most witchin warlock around or Brock might run for the hills.
Quick Summary: Getting picked up by a rich, sexy British stranger might just be too good to be true for a grad student with minimal magical abilities.
Treasured is a fun, magical heist book featuring a relationship between a sorcerer and shifter. This one is relatively low on angst and danger for the paranormal romance genre, there’s no tragic backstories or traumatic events, which fits with the heist style. It’s an exciting, steamy short read.
Made Up Rating System: 4/5 priceless magical artifacts
About Treasured
The action begins when a magical grad student with nominal abilities meets a sexy stranger at work. Danny can’t believe his luck that a total hottie is into him, even after he nerds out over magical artifacts. Rhys, the charming British hottie, asks him to dinner. And of course, we learn at the beginning that Danny is one of only a few people whose hands can pass through the magical glass safely at the museum where he works because he handles the exhibits.
Yes, the love interest is likely a mysterious thief with unknown shifter powers and motives. It’s not exactly subtle but the book is short so the action moves quickly. The short length may or may not bother you. I think a novella works for the theme and feeling of the book, but it may feel too brief and incomplete if you’re used to longer paranormal novels. This is more the start of a love story and grand adventure than complete in its own right, but the book is enjoyable and there’s a lot of potential for the future.
Finally, while I noted the book was light on angst and life-threatening situations, that doesn’t mean there’s no drama. What starts as a whirlwind romance gets complicated with that age old question: is he really into me or does he just want my museum clearance level?
Yes, that’s totally an age-old question. I ask it all the time.
My thoughts
Seeing the future or reading minds are valuable superpowers, but they come with such hassle and guaranteed TMI. And Danny’s foresight ability only gives him glimpses of like, a second later, so the same insight into the future can be attained by just, you know, waiting a second to see what happens.
Don’t get me wrong, he does have the chance to successfully use his gift throughout the book. It’s just one of those barely-a-power powers, which I admit I do love.
Sort of reminds me of a character I wrote recently, who starts turning invisible. He does the fly on the wall thing and has some fun seeing people behind the scenes and then it’s like… what now? Not terribly useful powers are probably some of the most fun to write and read about.
Book Quote
Treasured by Cari Z
Daniel Hart barely has enough magic to qualify as a student at the University of Arcane Studies. He’s not trying to change the world; all he wants is to study, work his job at the museum, and enjoy his calm, routine life.
Everything changes when he meets Rhys Daveth, a shifter with mysterious connections and even stranger taste, who pursues him with a passion that Daniel has never experienced before.
The chemistry between them is undeniable, but things take a turn for the worse when Daniel is arrested for a crime he didn’t commit–one that he suspects his new lover had a hand in.
Once the truth comes out, Daniel will have to choose between the steady, reliable future he’s always seen for himself and something deeper, more exciting, and far more dangerous than he could have imagined.
Series Titles
A 16-year old boy in a boring city ponders his place in the universe in my coming-of-age novel Invisi-bi-lity. Or at least he wonders about the important things in his universe. Namely, who he is and who he loves. John has some ideas but isn’t totally sure. He could be bi or he might just love one guy, his best friend Cody.
This seemed like a good place to start the novel, right when he’s figuring out the answers to some big questions he’s been wondering about for a while. Of course, the answers won’t slap him on the face but Cody does. He snaps him out of his daydreaming, they do some illicit activities together, and John has an epiphany.
Cody and John talk about birthday wishes in this scene, and John has a realization.
(It’s extremely possible these realizations will be a lot less shocking to you than they are to John.)
~
When we emerge on his grandparent’s front lawn, Cody makes an excited noise. “Hey, don’t I get a wish for birthdays?”
“You get a wish for your birthday, not my—”
“Too bad,” he talks over me. “I already know what I’m asking for.”
A billion dollars or a new car? Ending world hunger? A date with that gay YouTuber he always says is cute?
Cody smiles, lit by his grandparent’s porch light. “I wish that this is the year you finally realize how amazing you are.”
Suddenly I feel completely sober.
Once, my feelings and the labels that best define me seemed confusing. These days, the real issue comes from my readiness to acknowledge these inner truths. Maybe I’m just looking for a sign, a push, for the truth to slap me in the face until I can’t ignore it anymore.
The sincerity in Cody’s voice, how his lopsided smile looked so bright even in the dark… there’s another option to my life-long romantic questions. Why hadn’t I considered it before? I’ve been trying to decide whether I’m bi or in love with my best friend, but the answer seems so clear on the walk home. It’s both. I am bi and I love my best friend.
-check it out on Vella here!
To be honest, I have absolutely no clue how I came up with the idea for Invisi-bi-lity. Because it happened so long ago. This was a story I first had the idea for when I started the F.N. Manning pen name, which feels like a million years ago. It was at least three. In fact, as I’m writing this, it occurs to me I had a document with notes and ideas that I always planned to consult when writing this and… I totally forgot.
Anyway…
Our hero John is an overlooked 16-year-old in Buffalo, New York. His quest to come out as bi and confess his love for his best friend becomes infinitely more complicated when he starts disappearing from view.
In this scene, John’s taking a break from a game night with friends. He’s on the verge of telling people he’s bi but apparently some people don’t believe this is a real thing. He has a reaction to this he isn’t expecting.
~
“Bisexuality is what people say while they come out. Not something that actually exists.”
“Uh. Wha—”
My pulse suddenly pounds loudly in my ears. Everything seems to happen in slow motion.
“Of course you were fooled,” Dennis says. “People still search for the Loch Ness Monster or Big Foot. Myths are fascinating, and everybody wants to be the hero who proves the legends true, but it’s just not possible.”
“I’m gonna take a break,” I say.
I walk down a narrow hallway without seeing anything until I find the bathroom. One stupid comment, one opinion, it shouldn’t bother me so much. It shouldn’t. But that doesn’t stop the pain, the shame as if I did something wrong, I’m not enough…
Intending to splash cool water on my face and snap out of it, I flip on the lights and face the sink. Standing right in front of the mirror, the sight there sends me reeling all over again. I look in the mirror and nobody stares back at me. There’s nobody there.
My newest novel is up on Kindle Vella right now!
When a teen’s attempts to come out of the closet are influenced by a vengeful witch’s hex, bisexual erasure takes on a whole new meaning in Invisi-bi-lity.
Vella is a new way for authors to post stories on Amazon, and it works in episodic format. An author I follow had this plan, probably much more thought out than my own, to have five stories published by the new year. Pretty ambitious, considering they possibly wanted the novels to be complete too. For some reason I thought I could do the same thing, so I guess I’ll look on the bright side and praise my confidence.
I have three works currently on Vella and one soon to be published. Of these four, two are finished. So I actually didn’t do too bad and am going to give myself an A for effort. I tried and I tell myself that’s the important part.
Here is a scene from the beginning of the book. The main character John has some trouble pinning down his sexuality because a certain boy always gets in the way.
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Figuring out my sexuality is difficult enough without Cody O’Keefe screwing everything up.
The high school halls are filled with attractive people. From the cute girl with amazing legs in my English class to the washboard abs of the football quarterback. Then Cody smiles at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and I only see him.
Intelligent, funny, and gorgeous, Cody O’Keefe has it all. My favorite thing about him? When people talk, he listens. He makes people feel important. It’s basically a superpower in a boring city where nothing ever happens like Buffalo, New York… though his warm brown eyes are also nice.
Cody’s gay. And he always knew. Back in kindergarten, he told his parents he’d rather marry me than Ella Hopkins and no amount of her sharing Rice Krispy treats would change that. Girls? Not gonna happen.
Me? I’ve sometimes been pretty sure I may not be straight. Occasionally. Much less definitive.
Sometimes I think I’m not bisexual, I’m just a little in love with my best friend. Or am I bi but only fixating on the nearest and best queer guy and not really in love with him? These questions swirl in my brain constantly these days. How do I gain clarity? The answers won’t just slap me in the face with the truth.
“Ah!”
Tuning back into the world around me, I stand on the sidewalk, staring incredulously at the guy who just slapped me in the face.
“Sorry, did I hit too hard?” Cody pats my cheek this time, an affectionate sort of slap. “My bad, but you were pretty far away.”
About a head taller, he stands there with an easy smile, all up in my business without the slightest hesitation. Comfortable in our friendship and totally unaware of the thirsty thoughts in my brain.
Cody O’Keefe has amazingly soft chocolate-brown hair that gets mussed if you so much as look at it wrong. With peach skin and the most enticing slightly chubby cheeks, his beautifully open face is nearly as expressive as the song lyrics, affirmations, and notes he always writes on his arms in black or blue pen.
-check out the rest of the novel here on Vella!
In Instalove, a love spell is only the beginning of Avery Ward’s problems when strange things start happening at his school and he can’t get the guy he isn’t dating out of his head… or his heart.
This is a quote from the novel where Avery looks at a pretty boy, Chris Reyes, and thinks about their respective places in the world of high school.
If this square-shaped room had its edges sanded away and became a world onto itself, which it pretty much was even without more circular dimensions, then the table Chris sat at was probably North America. Flashy, the biggest and best, and pretty great all things considered. Just not exactly as great as many of the inhabitants believed. All the popular, attractive athletes sat there.
If this school were a world, my table would be, I don’t know, somewhere in Europe probably, but not the whole continent. Or if it were a continent, probably Australia. It seemed like a neat enough place, maybe even somewhere to visit, but not the center of attention.
Gay Paranormal Romance 