Real or Fake? M/M romance

Real or Fake? M/M romance

The breakup scene from a supposedly fake relationship:

We need to talk,” Luke told me. A classic break up line. He couldn’t even be creative about it?

“I don’t have time,” I said, shutting my locker and walking away. A small, stupid part of me actually wanted him to let me walk away, wanted this charade between us to continue.

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“Yeah, you never seem to have enough time for me,” he told my retreating back.

I spun around dramatically, intending to add flair to this scene. “We’re going to do this here?” I asked skeptically like we shouldn’t do this in public, but I raised my voice to catch more attention.

“We have to do this here because you’ve been avoiding me for days.” He sounded annoyed and I wondered if it was genuine. I had been avoiding him.

“You’re being dramatic,” I scolded.

“I’m the dramatic one?” He scoffed. “You love being the center of attention.” We were definitely the center of attention now: a crowd of eager onlookers had formed around us. Some looked uncomfortable while others were enjoying this, but they all seemed interested. I saw our friends Alicia and Lydia among the rest.

“Says the guy who is literally at the center of every baseball game,” I retorted.

“I’m the pitcher,” he said, exasperated, and a few of the guys on his team nodded at that.

“Don’t bring the bedroom into this!” I couldn’t help it.

Luke’s expression went confused for a second, trying to figure that out while the crowd murmured. I probably lost most of them with that one, but I had to fight a grin as I watched Alicia and Lydia dissolving into laughter and trying to hide it, turning towards each other and giggling helplessly.

Thrown off track, Luke went in a different direction. “I know what’s really going on here. Do you think I’m an idiot?”

I raised one eyebrow. “You want me to answer that?”

“You’re interested in him,” Luke spat out. I regretted not coming up with a plan. I hadn’t known the reason he’d give for our breakup.

“You’re jealous?” I asked, trying not to fidget.

“Hard not to be when my boyfriend is checking out someone else every time I turn around.”

There were a few football players in the crowd who had been watching in horror, unable to look away, but now they nodded after what Luke said. Luke was already more popular than me and better looking, and I was the cheating partner. He’d win our breakup.

It shouldn’t matter. I should just get this over with but I wanted something. I wanted to win. He was going back to being straight and likable, and I’d be the gay cheater whose social status plummeted impossibly lower. And everyone would wonder how I could be dumb enough to cheat on the captain of the baseball team when I was lucky to have him in the first place.

Luke smiled and started to turn away. Nope, he wasn’t going to leave me here humiliated and alone. “I’m sorry,” I started and he paused, looking unsure about whether he should trust the apology.  Good instincts. “But maybe I have a problem being a phase for you.”

There were gasps.

“Dude, what?” he said quietly, just to me.

I kept talking. “You’re more comfortable dating girls and you know it.”

“But—”

“I’m not the only one looking elsewhere.” I pointed to Lydia, feeling a little bad about dragging her into this.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Luke tried. “She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Lydia had an untapped talent for dramatics. She jumped in at that. “How can you say that?” she gasped. “You told me you loved me!” She inserted herself between us for a second and slapped Luke across the face. She stared me down fiercely for a few seconds, then grinned saucily and stormed off while the crowd parted to let her through.

“You got so caught up in having a boyfriend, but you spent no time actually being in this relationship. I need more,” I said bravely, pretending that I was fighting back tears.

“Don’t do that. You’re not into me. That’s what this is really about,” Luke said weakly, trying to get the power back. It was the wrong thing to say.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

Luke’s face went through a series of emotions too fast for me to interpret. Man, he really was a better actor than I thought, but my heart hammered in my chest too hard to pay attention. Tears welled up in my eyes, no longer fake.

“I think we need to break up,” he said quietly.

“I don’t think so.” His eyes widened. I thought I heard people gasp again. “I know it,” I said, head held high. “We’re over.”

People cleared the way to let me through. I think a couple people even applauded. I just kept my eyes ahead and concentrated on walking down the hall and out of Luke’s life.

Our relationship had been fake, but that breakup seemed real.

This is an excerpt from One Little Word, 

via Daily Prompt: Laughter

What Love Means Excerpt

What Love Means Excerpt

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I had to see Max again.

I only caught the barest glimpses of him at the next few spelling club meetings both our siblings attended. I had to straighten things out between us… was that a poor choice of words? Max was a giant loose end. I couldn’t afford another screw up.

I had to get this sorted out with Max. I hoped we might be even. I embarrassed Max years ago when I defeated him and now he’d settled the score. It was all water under the bridge now. We could start over, right? And if that meant we could act like nothing happened and I wouldn’t have to worry about him telling anyone about our tryst… well, that was just a pleasant side effect.

My family may be well off, but we believed in practicality. Our motto was substance before style; style was still important as image was everything, but substance mattered too. No, our motto would probably be ‘Beat Everyone, Win Everything.’ We had a lot of mottos. The point was that I don’t drive a flashy sports car unlike some kids in my grade who were gifted with glitzy vehicles when they turned 16. I owned a modest, dependable Honda Civic. At least it was dark green. I had begged for any color, literally any color except the beige my parents wanted.

An excerpt from my story, What Love Means.

Daily Prompt: Defending the Scoundrel

Daily Prompt: Defending the Scoundrel

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The soiree took place in a lavish mansion. Everything was polished and over the top, the people so put together and pretty and fake. Cal had been expected to make an appearance. It had been the worst part of his day, but it came with a bright side: maybe his parents would never ask him to make an appearance at a society function again since they got into a hushed argument in the coat closet.

It had felt so significant at the time when he emerged from the closet. It had been symbolic to tell his family that he wouldn’t attend another event if his boyfriend couldn’t be there too while literally emerging from a closet.

As he relayed the story to Max now, it just sounded silly.

“Come on, tell me again,” his boyfriend encouraged. Cal groaned and buried his head in Max’s shoulder. They were in Max’s family’s tiny apartment, but Cal felt like he had more space and room to breathe here than he did at the party or among his parents with all their expectations and obligations. Metaphorically, if not physically.  Plus, in a physical sense, why did he need space? There was no need to stretch out when he preferred to spend his time as close to Max as possible.

Even if he was being annoying. “You’ve already heard it,” Cal grumbled into the fabric of his dark shirt. He’d been working earlier, Cal could detect motor oil and a hint of sweat, but Max smelled good, like home. He certainly looked comfortable lounging on the couch while Cal felt overly formal in his nice shirt and crisp pants, tie fastened tightly around his neck.

“Well, I wanna hear it again.” Max ran a hand down Cal’s back.

Cal moved his head to stare at Max dubiously. It wasn’t pouting, hopefully, as he said, “You’re making fun of me.

“No, I wanna know all about how my big and tough boyfriend defended my honor.” His voice was warm and affectionate. It was hard to argue with that voice.

Still. Cal was big and tough. Max needed to know. Yes, his dark-haired boyfriend was stronger and more muscled, but Cal had assets too. “I am tough. I know karate.”

Max laughed. “No, you don’t.”

“Well, I took a class in second grade. I’m a yellow belt. Does that count for anything?”

“Probably not.”

Cal glared at Max for a moment before pecking him on the lips and shrugging off the previous events of the evening. “I don’t want to think about that unpleasantness anyway.”

“It’s not unpleasant. It’s sweet. You sticking up for me.”

Cal studied him, but Max seemed to be serious, his tone sounding gentle while his fingers traced idle patterns on Cal’s chest.

Max was poor. Cal was rich. Cal didn’t care, but his parents did. A lot. They also didn’t understand bisexuality. It didn’t matter if they didn’t get it. Cal got it and he couldn’t just let them say whatever they wanted about the person he… cared about very much.

“You’re my boyfriend. I couldn’t just let them say whatever they wanted.”

“You could have actually, but you didn’t. Its sweet.” Max kissed him softly for a few moments and Cal didn’t protest or make sure the brunette understood that he was worth standing up for. There would be time for that later. Cal didn’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

They lounged together on the couch. Cal wanted to put the matter behind them, but. “You know the weird part? I almost wanted to give them pointers.”

“On how to insult me better? Okay, now I hate you.” He playfully shoved Cal away, but the blonde held on tight.

“No, just, Max, this is the 21rst century. My parents are from this time period. I don’t get why their insults are so dated. They called you a cad, a rouge.”

“A rouge? I kind of like the sound of that.”

“A cur. A scoundrel.”

“Now, that one hurts,” Max joked. “I’m not a scoundrel.”

“Actually, I think that one fits rather well.” Cal laughed at Max’s offended look then grinned. “But you’re my scoundrel.”

I used characters from an existing story to write this prompt. These characters are from What Love Means.

via Daily Prompt: Cur

 

What Love Means Excerpt

What Love Means Excerpt

 

Here’s an excerpt of What Love Means. Both of the main characters have a sibling who competes in spelling bees, and this takes place at a spelling club meeting.

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Cal

This was the perfect chance to spend quality time with my brother while getting my mind off the breakup. And the guy from the party. I had to get him out of my mind. I thought about him more than I wanted to admit.

Did it seem so intense because of the alcohol? Needing someone so badly and feeling such pleasure at his skin on mine couldn’t possibly be real. I didn’t even know his name! Still, it had been heady. Maybe because it was new? Feeling coarse skin scrape against my jaw. Meeting muscles instead of soft flesh. How he backed me up against a wall with easy strength. His demanding mouth and hands…

Freaking hell. I was thinking about it again!

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The Five W’s

The Five W’s

Here’s what you need to know about my book What Love Means using the five W’s: who, what, when, where, and why.

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Who: Finn Manning. Me! That one was easy enough. And I’m not an egomaniac by putting that one first, it’s just how the list goes.

If you want to know a little more about me: I’m a queer author who writes queer fiction. I’m in my early 20’s and I live on the West Coast in North Carolina. I have two nephews I adore, a dog I spoil, and my interests include Zumba, going to the beach, and working my way through a giant queue of books and TV shows. I’m currently reading Reasons to Love a Nerd Like Me by Becky Jerams and just got done watching the latest season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I planned on watching season five of Arrow next but started Wild, Wild Country instead because Netflix told me to.

What: What Love Means is a gay YA romance. Without falling back on my fancy synopsis, it’s about two old friends who parted on bad terms. Max and Cal are about as opposite as can be. One is rich and the other is poor, one is an uptight academic and the other is a bad boy with a motorcycle, one is brunette and the other is blonde. You get the idea. Aside from mutual lust, the only other thing they have in common is that they both have younger siblings. When the kids both start competing in spelling bees, Max and Cal must confront their past and find out whether they could have a future together.

When: It’s contemporary, so it takes place now. The main characters are beginning their senior year of high school.

Where: New Jersey. Let’s see, the action takes place in many locations. There’s a party at an abandoned warehouse where our heroes have a chance encounter that makes sparks fly. There’s one tiny apartment and one fancy ass mansion. Max has two uncomfortable conversations in two coffee shops. A sexy scenario happens in the least appealing place Cal can think of: his old middle school. An emotional conversation happens in what Max considers the worst place for a serious discussion: the parking lot behind the auto shop where he works.

 Why: My previous work, One Little Word, involves the classic jock-nerd dynamic. I wanted a similar opposites attract scenario without doing the same thing, and I love spelling bees. That led to the concept of two old friends meeting again years after their last bee. One of them is the studious, hardworking teen one might expect would come from the spelling bee (i.e. an uptight nerd for those who aren’t familiar with spelling bees) and the other has gone through a complete transformation and become the dangerous, carefree rebel that first character really shouldn’t be attracted to, but dammit, he is anyway.

What Love Means is available now on Amazon.

Gay YA Staples

Gay YA Staples

What started as a popular book is now a popular movie with Love Simon. I didn’t rec Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda because it’s one of those books that come up on every rec list. If you’re looking for LGBT books for young adults, you’ve probably heard of this one already if not read it.

Just for good measure though, let’s look at some of the favorite books in teen and young adult gay fiction. If you want a gay book for teens where you can’t go wrong,  here’s what I think of as the holy trinity:

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.

 

 

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship—the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be.

 

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

A young bisexual British lord embarks on an unforgettable Grand Tour of Europe with his best friend/secret crush. An 18th-century romantic adventure for the modern age written by This Monstrous Thing author Mackenzi LeeSimon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets the 1700s.

Henry “Monty” Montague doesn’t care that his roguish passions are far from suitable for the gentleman he was born to be. But as Monty embarks on his grand tour of Europe, his quests for pleasure and vice are in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

So Monty vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

(click on the image for a link)

Some other popular titles in LGBT fiction for teens are:

The Great American Whatever
Noah’s Song (Port Haven) (Volume 1)
Openly Straight
True Letters from a Fictional Life
Carry On

These are on my must read list, what’s on yours?

The Meaning of Life… or at least names

The Meaning of Life… or at least names

Okay, this post doesn’t discuss the meaning of life, unless you mean the Monty Python movie, which I will discuss now to say that I thought it was alright. I saw it in like fourth grade after I watched and loved Holy Grail and I didn’t think MOL was as good but I would likely appreciate it more now.

Actually, I do have a guess about the meaning of life: dogs. That’s it. Just dogs. Dogs are totally the meaning of life.

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Anyway, I wanted to discuss name meanings. My book What Love Means came out in April, and April is also the name of a character, the little sister of one of the protagonists. Apparently I like month names because the last name of another character is March.

I wondered what April meant; did it have a cool name meaning? If you’re named April, does your name just mean the fourth month of the year? No, it’s a little better than that. April is latin (isn’t everything?) and means open.

Then I wondered what my other characters names meant? Brendan is the other little sibling in the book and his name means brave.

Calvin goes by Cal. He got the short end of the stick. His name means bald, but I promise he has hair.

Max means greatest. I think Max would be very pleased with his name meaning and Cal’s while Cal would not be amused.

What Love Means is available on Amazon. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter:

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Max                                                                                                           

Bodies filled the decrepit, rusting building while the chilly night air had many openings to invade the space inside the run-down walls of the old warehouse. Maybe that was why several empty barrels held fires or maybe that was for ambiance. It didn’t seem like this forgotten place would have any electricity, yet someone somehow got music playing.

People cheered and danced while the booze flowed liberally. Then glow sticks appeared. This was going to turn into a rave. I fucking hated raves. I missed the days when it was just me and the guys breaking into some ramshackle place that no one even used or cared about but went through the trouble of locking anyway.

And now snobs infiltrated the party, their stares boring into me – the scowling guy who filled out his leather jacket – with disdain and grudging interest. Rich kids were all the same, with critical eyes and upturned noses, both envious and judging of those below them. Good to fool around with sometimes but that was all they were good for.

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What Love Means release!

What Love Means release!

After much excitement and anticipation, What Love Means is officially available! Yes, a lot of the anticipation and excitement was from me. It still counts. Thank you to everyone who downloaded the sample. I hope you enjoy the book! It’s more than 300 pages and is on Kindle Unlimited too.

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Max is a walking bad boy cliché; Cal shouldn’t want anything to do with him. Cal is everything Max hates about rich people, but he comes in the prettiest package.

Can you spell sexual tension? They can. Can you spell love? Okay, that’s a pretty easy word to spell. Cal and Max can spell it, but they don’t what it means. They’re about to find out.

Available here

 

 

 

 

This is also the last day to enter my contest for 10 queer YA books, so enter while you still can!

Here’s a snippet from the book:

The purr of the motorcycle sent vibrations up my thighs. The wind whistled in my ears as I shot around a corner. I leaned into the motion and tightened my grip on the handlebars. A jolt of adrenaline zinged down my spine as I relied on skill and luck to carry me through. I felt invincible as I raced down back alleys and reveled in the soaring sensation that came from rushing down the road.

I parked my motorcycle at the latest worn-down, abandoned warehouse that had turned into a party spot for vagrants like me. While I hadn’t had anything to drink yet, the ride made me feel buzzed and on top of the world. I guess that’s what people meant by a natural high. Huh. I normally go for the unnatural highs when offered, but being on a bike almost beat anything drugs or alcohol could do.

Almost. It depended on whether a guy was pressed up behind me on the bike or not.

The lot held bikes and beat up cars along with some kids I recognized from school, but the Lexus’s, Audis, and BMWs made me sigh. Even in the dim light they sparkled. Some rich kids from a prep school must have wrangled an invite to see what the kids from the ‘other side of the tracks’ got up to. My friends loved scoring with the yuppies who did things with them no self-respecting girls could do with their boyfriends while the girls loved hooking up with someone their parents would disapprove of.

Too much hassle for me. Besides, I gave up girls years ago.  I didn’t know the preppy kids at this party and didn’t care about them. Until I saw him.