My dog is tearing her stuffed elephant to smithereens while I try to write this post. She wants to play, so I get up to throw her toy, and then she promptly loses all interest. Until I sit back down at the computer. She’s such a cute jerk.
The next thing I’m going to say has nothing to do with the first thing, which is usually how it goes with me. One Little Word is on sale for 99 cents this week, so I’m posting about it like a sensible author.
The story is about two guys who must “date” For Reasons. As compelling as that summary is, I’m going to include an excerpt that may or may not actually be in the book. So it could be a sneak peek or it could be a deleted scene. Maybe a little of both? How mysterious and exciting.
Okay, Luke is a dumb jock who gets in trouble and thinks saying he’s gay will solve problems instead of creating new ones. And now he’s talking to the principal and a teacher about all this.
~
Luke
“Gay?” Principal Simmons frowned. “But you’re the captain of the baseball team!”
I nearly laughed. “Are you serious?”
The guidance counselor gave us a speech last year about “diverging sexuality,” something she claimed they did every year, but it happened shortly after Ryan Miller came out. There was a whole part about how there was no one way to be gay, just as no two people were exactly the same.
Yet the principal appeared skeptical about my confession. That was totally unfair.
I looked at Mrs. Sharp after the Principal still seemed confused.
She sighed. “What he means,” she tried, “is that this seems a little… convenient.”
“Yes, that’s a good point,” he agreed. “Personally, I had no idea your people could play sports.” He chuckled to himself. “Well, see, I’m already learning.”
“Do I really need any other ‘proof’ of why I’m not out yet?” I gestured to him.
While not exactly conceding the point, Mrs. Sharp also supplied no defense for his remarks. “Mr. Chambers,” she spoke evenly. “Why don’t you explain—”
“You can’t force a student to tell you about his sexuality,” Simmons interrupted. “I know that much.”
“Mr. Chambers,” she repeated, authority clear in her tone, making the principal shut up. “I’m not asking you to reveal anything too personal. Simply help us understand. Let’s see.” She straightened in her seat, a neutral expression on her face.
Trap, this was a trap, but one I couldn’t avoid.
“Perhaps you could share your perceptions of LGBTQIA culture?” she asked. “Or give us a general idea about the challenges a gay teenager may face in a small town?” The corners of her lips twitched, like she was laughing at me internally. “Who are your favorite queer icons?”
“Yes, wonderful!” Simmons sounded delighted. “Another learning experience.” He nodded at me. “Go on, son.”
There’s a New Queer Year upon us, and so much goodness within it can hardly be contained in a single post! Below are 72 (!) new US and UK YA titles releasing in the next six months, filled with representation across genres and genders, races and orientations. If you’re looking for trends and landmarks, as […]
Because I am incapable of on topicing, first I have to say that the title I made up sounds like something Perd Hapley would say. He’s the painfully literal over-explainer and reporter from Parks and Rec for those who aren’t as Perd obsessed. Actually, maybe the title is an actual quote from him? Well, either way, totally intention on my part.
(The only way to improve on the perfection of Perd, in my opinion, is to know his actor is also a reporter in real life and he only plays reporters.)
pic from reddit
The Story’s Origin Story
Fun fact, or at least one of those things, when I wrote One Little Word, I had no idea what I was doing. It was my first ever YA gay romance and the plot contained such depth and complexity. Just kidding, the original idea was this: so there’s this nerd. And then there’s a jock. And they aren’t friends but then they have to date for reasons.
How did I come up with something so original? Easy, I didn’t try to be unique! I wanted to use popular tropes. Plus, I was also counting on my complete inability to ever keep things simple to ensure the end result would be both familiar and unique.
Needed a picture, so here’s one with a quote from the book.
Writing this, it sounds like I had a plan with this novel. When I wrote it, again, I had no idea what I was doing. Whether I’ve learned anything since then, who knows, but now I more confidently fumble my way along.
These observations brought to you by my attempts to make a print version of the ebook.
Extreme Makeover Book Edition
Someday I would love for all my books to have print and audio versions. Though, it’s hard to say when that mythical day will arrive. My current print efforts are being done with all the speed of an old, doomed gazelle at a watering hole.
Another quote
The cool part is that the ebook is getting an update. New cover, expanded scenes, theoretically more editing. Which means, when One Little Wordgoes on sale, that’s a perfect opportunity to get the new edition, become acquainted with the series, or even leave a review. I’m saying all this as if it’s totally just occurring to me and not something planned at all.
The One Little Word sale is from, oh my god, I literally just looked it up, how do I not remember again? Okay, the sale is from Feb 16-23. The book will be 99 cents the whole time. Yay!
Also, if you have Kindle Unlimited, anytime before April is a good to check out the book. Or any of the books I’ve written. Since they are leaving the KU library. I have as much idea as you whether this will be a permanent change or not, which means I have no idea. Unless you have an idea, then you know more than me, so let me know? That would be kind.
The End
And now, I’m going to start as I began, with gratuitous Perd Hapley.
Dogs are the best. They’re just like humans, except not really, and they’re much better.
Here is a picture, and video if you click the link, about a service dog combining work and play in an adorable manner. Okay, the dog looks like a golden retriever and is therefore automatically always adorable, but her trip to Disney World is extra cute.
Her name is Nala. I was proud of myself for recognizing the Lion King reference on my own.
I’m less clear about what’s on her head. I know it’s supposed to be something, but no clue what. Possibly a mountain range. Whatever it is, I think the photo is improved because of it.
And if I knew why I found this picture so hilarious, I would explain it to you and myself. Maybe because she’s taking a tourist photo like she’s a people? No idea but it’s funny and sweet at the same time.
Almost every dog I’ve ever had loves car rides, so I guess the idea of a dog riding and liking an amusement park ride isn’t too far off but this still blows my mind. Also Nala is hipper than me because she has her own Instagram.
I’m posting this the day after the Super Bowl. I feel like I should mention the Super Bowl, but as I’m writing this the day of the game and it hasn’t started yet, I don’t know what to say. Um… How about that game, huh? It sure was something. And that one commercial? So funny!
While I might be advertising myself as a loser depending on how the game goes, I hope KC wins. It took me a really long time to realize they made it all the way this year, but the Chiefs are my home team. Plus, I’m in the area this year, so it would be fun to see everyone go crazy. I wasn’t here when the Royals won the World Series, but the grade school my nephews go to cancelled school like it was a snow day the day after the game.
Anyway, every other Monday is when I post an extra from one of my books. This is from One Step Forward.Due to shenanigans, our hero Ryan finds himself stuck in a car with Joey, a member of the baseball team he has nothing in common with.
Ryan
With no other options, I guess I could learn about Joey. Desperate times. Maybe it would be fun? Didn’t believe that, but I couldn’t come up with something better to do. Okay, a question. Can you imagine anything worse than this? No, something easy. A warmup before the heavy hitting, Pulitzer prize stuff. A softball. Different from a baseball but don’t ask me how.
“How many siblings do you have?” I asked. Question transmitted, I waited with bated breath for the answer.
Reading a book takes me roughly 84 years. And then writing a review adds an additional 107 years to the process. So, like, I’m really slow. That’s the point. I finally finished Witch Eyesand while I don’t want to spoil you too much, here’s my overall impression. Are you ready?
It was good.
True story. Well, no, the story is about witches and other supernatural creatures, so I’m pretty sure it’s fiction. 90% certain. But I liked it, that part is true.
I have heard of Philip Roth.
Okay, so this isn’t a review so much as it is, um. A general commentary on topics related to books and literature. How exciting!
If you want more information about the book, the author Scott Tracey described it as “Romeo and Juliet, but with boys. And witches.” What a badass summary.
Also cool, the author’s interests at the back of the book are listed as “villains, witches, and sarcasm.” I mean, if you were only going to like three things, those would be the three to like.
As I said, I’m done with Witch Eyes. Or at least the first book since its a trilogy. I started The Forbidden by Dante Cullen and may have it read by 2043. Stay tuned.
And Now For More Nonsense – I felt like I needed a header here
Have you heard about this newfangled invention that’s supposed to be all the rage? I think they’re called audio books. I really need to look into those. I’m not good at doing only one thing at a time, not when I could be doing two things. Did you know two things is more than one? Probably, if you can count.
Multitasking makes my ADD brain happy. Though because focus is a challenge, I’m not sure that splitting my focus between two things is very helpful, but it still makes me feel accomplished.
And now I have run out of all the things I intended to say and all the new things I found to say along the way. So instead of awkwardly saying bye, I’m going to end with a quote from Witch Eyes.
I highlight portions I like when reading, so I’m just going to use the first part I randomly scrolled to because I like it. Duh, what’s why I highlighted it.
I forced myself to finish my homework before considering plans to raise the dead.
Not because the movie was terrible, but I hadn’t seen the second Star War in this trio, so I had no idea what was happening for the first half of the movie. There were people I recognized along with my favorite squeaky robots and hairy alien monsters, but everything they were doing confused the hell out of me.
I mean, maybe skipping a movie wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it was for me. I hate not watching things in order. Do you know the reason books, movies, and TV shows have an order? So you follow that order! To not do so is anarchy.
In a galaxy far away…
When I saw the movie, it was before Christmas. I started typing this post in a timely manner… until I forgot about it, of course. I’m now aware that even if I had watched the movies in the correct order, I might not have liked RoS. Because no one liked it? Which is kinda a bummer because Poe, Finn, and Rey are great.
Anyway, I wanted to share this video of celebrities touching wild animals.
Movies and children don’t mix
I went to the movie with my nephews, who I adore, and who are worth not abiding by chronological order for. Of course this led to the other problem. In addition to not knowing what happened in the previous movie, I also missed a good chunk of the movie I was currently watching.
We got snacks for the show, again because I love my nephews and they are worth braving concession stand prices, even though I scream internally every time, but they still have to get up approximately 76 times during the movie. And then I have to go with them, and for some reason the movie theater thought it was a good idea to only have an exit on one side?
So of course, we were on the opposite side of the exit and we had to be jerks and cross the entire theater 76 times. But you will be happy to know that this is the best Star War ever. Well, according to my youngest nephew. It’s the best one he’s seen. He’s seen two.
Representation
Personally, I’m grateful to the whole franchise for allowing Hispanics into space. Don’t ask me why we weren’t allowed before because I have no idea.
Because I’m that person, who can’t just watch a movie and enjoy it, it was interesting to see how far we’ve come since the first franchise. The three leads were two non-white guys and a lady who was much less of a sex symbol this time around.
And it was, uh. Let’s also say interesting, okay. It was interesting to see how far we still have to go. As in, I did catch the background kiss between two minor women characters without knowing about it beforehand. I’m gay and that person, of course I’m going to catch it. But I was also aware Poe and Finn were a popular pairing and obviously making them officially A Thing would have been a million times better.
Okay, my brain isn’t… braining at the moment, so I’m just going to say that this is an excerpt and deleted content from One Little Change. Lydia is a character who likes the color black and dislikes, well, everything else. Except her girlfriend Alicia.
~
Lydia
The thing I liked best about my relationship with Alicia, compared to say, Luke and Ryan’s relationship—besides that Alicia was a girl—was how much better we were than them. Maybe it’s because we were women, better at talking and in touch with our emotions. Maybe that was bullshit. Emotions were so annoying. I didn’t have them as much when I was doing the lone wolf thing but now that I had friends and a girlfriend? My stupid feelings were always there feeling things. It sucked.
The real reason Alicia and I had less problems than Ryan and Luke? I figured we were just better.
We didn’t have any stupid misunderstandings or miscommunications that made everything worse. Or we didn’t until now. Alicia thought we would be having sex? Where had that come from? Even talking about it felt delicate because she was asexual and I wasn’t. That was, like, the one way we weren’t compatible, but we were on the same page in every other way. Why did it have to be a big thing? How hard was it to not have sex?
Maybe that was oversimplifying things and I was probably being, I don’t know, one of the words other people generally used when they criticized me. Cold. Brusque. Stubborn. But talking, especially about relationships or emotions or serious stuff? That sucked so much. Even having feelings was a little much, so I tried to do that as little as possible. Alicia was worth it, but still, distasteful.
I’m not a music snob. Not that I’m entirely opposed to the idea but my conversational ability when it comes to music is “I like this’ or ‘I don’t like this.’ And keeping track of all the artists and songs is, well, I already can’t keep track of all the books and TV shows I like and want to check out, so music is something I enjoy but it’s not a passion and I’m not an expert.
Feels like I should break this post up into sections
Looking at some of the songs I’ve posted in the past, I seem like I could be a music snob. My tastes are all alternative, sometimes not even the tracks played on the radio stations. It almost seems like I know my stuff. Oh, you like Billy Eilish too? Bad Guy is so overplayed, and I liked her before she was cool! That was my hipster impression.
(Apparently I’m feeling lucky because I’m just taking it on faith that I spelled Eilish right. So if I did, go me! If I didn’t, my bad!)
In reality, I’m not sure the music snobs would accept me into their group. One, while alternative is my favorite musical genre, what the hell even is alternative? I’ve been listening it to for a very long time and I have no idea. The closest I can come up with is that it includes a lot of other things, some folk, rock, indie, punk, grunge, etc. And also its not pop. Can that be a definition, not being something? Even though some pop and alternative do crossover but that’s way over my head.
More Cowbell… or more pop music
I actually like all kinds of music. In a verbal conversation, this is normally the point where someone is like, oh yeah, you like metal/christian/country? Dude, you don’t have to be a jerk. And the answer: No! Not as a whole, but yeah, I could find a few songs I liked of just about anything.
While alternative is generally not pop (except for when it is) I do love me some pop songs. One Direction, Britney, Ke$ha, I’m all for it. That’s what this post is about, adding some pop. Because I wrote everything that went before this paragraph without remembering that I had also posted a Taylor Swift song.
A Very Serious Musical Debate
I put all of that in title case, but I didn’t for the other headers, so please don’t notice that. Thanks, you’re the best.
Music critics Ryan Miller and Luke Chambers of the esteemed Not-Real Music Magazine discuss some pop songs in One Little Problem.They’re trying to figure out what their couple song would be. I will soon give you that scene and one of their options, Sucker by the JoBros.
One more thing though, remember when I said I could almost be a music snob? That was before I revealed my intense love for the Year 3000. That was like the first Jonas Brothers hit, and it’s really old now, and I was a little too old to like it even then, but damn, it’s a great freaking song.
Then I got distracted by Danny Trejo
Photo from WGNTV
Oh, I know one other thing about the Jonas Brothers. (Actually, I know a fair amount, because I once made the mistake of clicking on an article about Joe and Sophie Turner and now my Google feed won’t shut up about that.) Danny Trejo was in one of their music videos, Burning Up.
You may not know the actor’s name, but Trejo is the scary Mexican from literally everything where they’ve ever cast a scary looking Mexican for the past couple decades. While the amount of media with scary Mexican dudes isn’t great, there is so much that is great about Danny Trejo.
My favorite random fact is that Trejo would agree to be in people’s student films if he was available just because he’s an incredibly kind person. (He got into acting later in life and he’s a fellow Mexican American, that’s cool too.) And also, he was in a JoBro music video for some reason!
Ryan, Luke, and the JoBros
This is Ryan and Luke trying to figure out their song. And also a song.
Ryan
The fading sun cast Luke’s tan features and sandy blonde hair in a soft glow and if I listened very closely, I might be able to hear angels singing because even they marveled at his beautiful muscles and green eyes.
Luke cut into my thoughts, saying in a firm voice, “No Jonas brothers. I have to take a stand somewhere.” He made a fist with one hand, punching it against the steering wheel to show the force of his metaphorical stand.
“The JoBros are the hill you want to die on?” It was in my nature to question things, but I could maybe respect that. Nick was pretty hot; the Jonas Brothers weren’t a terrible way to go.
Luke paused for just a second, aha! Then he doubled down. “It’s an important hill.”
“Whatever, I know you have Year 3000 on your iPod.” I turned towards my window to avoid showing my smile. Wait for it…
“Dammit,” he cursed under his breath. “Did Lily tell you?” She didn’t; his little sister wasn’t a terrible secret keeper.
I grinned triumphantly. “No, you just did.”
The car slowed as he took the turn to his house. “Isn’t that song you mentioned before kinda suggestive for us?” he questioned. He just got a haircut, so his dirty blonde hair was cut relatively close to his head. My fingers itched to familiarize themselves with the new length of his locks.
“And that’s a point against it?” I was all for suggestions, as long as those suggestions were about and/or coming from sexy guys.
“No,” he admitted. “But come on, we’re gonna tell people that’s our song? Sucker?”
Luke knew what it was called! He totally dug the JoBros. Wait, did he think Nick was more attractive than me? Wait again…
“Okay,” I said. He had a good point. I tried to relax into my seat.
I wasn’t driving, so I had a good view of the slight pout forming on his face. “That’s all? I thought it was good innuendo.” It went something like, I’m a sucker for you, which yeah, could be taken so differently.
“It is,” I agreed. That was why I hadn’t been able to say anything else. Startling the driver by screaming or tackling him with my body wasn’t a great idea. “I’m so proud of you.” This is why his nickname was Genius. There was no one else I’d rather spend my Friday night with.